As a parent you will probably agree that teaching a child to read isn’t necessary the easiest thing in the world. This experience can actually be pretty exhausting for both parties for many different reasons but once you’ve succeeded, also very rewarding.
Why is it exhausting?
Well, for one, it can get pretty monotonous for the parent and extremely hard and complicated for the child. That can’t be good, right? While you read without even thinking about it, your child is still having trouble memorizing all the letters in the alphabet and understanding the concept of combining them in syllables and syllables into words. This is the moment where you are still waiting for your child to finally read correctly “da-ba” and “ba-ba” or “da-da” while thinking of all the other cool stuff you would rather be doing such as making dinner, doing laundry, cleaning, changing tires, mowing, gardening, basically anything but this. What makes it even more difficult for you is the fact you probably can’t even remember learning to write and to read. You’ve forgotten all about it. For you it is the most natural thing in the world, as simple as breathing, sleeping or eating, but for your child it’s just the opposite. It’s a mystery and it seems almost impossible.
How to approach it?
You could start by remembering how it felt for you. Maybe you could talk to the person who taught you how to read and write and ask her about it. How long did it take you? Was there anything about it you couldn’t quite understand? How was your first reaction to the learning process? What motivated you? What was especially difficult? This might actually help you understand your child better and lower some of your expectations. It could also be very interesting for you to see if there is any resemblance between you and your child regarding the learning process.
Of course, just remembering how demanding and complicated the process was for you personally, doesn’t help feel better about the present situation but in a way it does prepare you for the next very important step and that is learning patience. Your child needs your guidance, clear instructions, concentration, motivation, but mostly – the time. In other words, take it step by step and make sure your child is cooperating. Having said that, try to create a positive working atmosphere where both you and your child feel relaxed, confident and motivated about learning.
How to create positive working atmosphere?
Don’t push too hard in any way. Learning for 15 min. a day should be enough if it’s time well-spent. Make sure your child is concentrated and cooperative. If you’re having fun, your child will most likely be enjoying itself as well. Never start without enough paper and favorite crayons. Your child is probably used to using them and it could help take some pressure off because it reminds him/her of drawing and playing. If your child has a favorite drawing or reading spot at home you could also learn there, it doesn’t have to be a desk, you can learn anywhere where you both feel good.
If your child enjoys hearing stories and being surrounded by books, learning to read and write should be less stressful. The best advice would therefore be to teach your child to love and appreciate books even before he/she starts reading them.
How to teach your child to love books?
Start by showing him/her your love and enthusiasm for the books and stories. If your child has never seen you hold a book, it won’t believe you like books. Kids are smart and they notice just about everything. Read bed time stories every night and let it grow his/her imagination. Before teaching a child to read and write you could start by writing little personalized stories about your child’s daily routine, familiar things or anything he/she likes and enjoys. Hearing their names makes them curious about what happens next. This way children feel proud of themselves and get to like books even more but what makes them really love books is letting them illustrate their personalized stories. It’s so much fun! Read them the stories over and over again and let them express themselves in their own artistic way.
How to organize the first lesions?
Before learning to read and write your child enjoyed drawing and playing so make sure you don’t start off with a strictly academical approach your child won’t be able to understand. At first, combine colors, pictures, sounds and written words. At the beginning you could also use some very simple pictograms.
An example:
m a m a
color “m” red and “a” blue
sing the syllables “maaa-maaa”
repeat
let your child draw mama’s picture next to the word
The problem is, children don’t understand combining phonemes to syllables and syllables to the whole words. This is why singing while pronouncing the syllables might help. What they can remember easily are the sounds and pictures because they are used to learning by observing, hearing, repeating and reproducing. At the very beginning they will probably observe the word “mama” as a merely visual sensation and after having pronounced it several times they will memorize it correctly, without really understanding how the mechanism works. But that’s a start!
Learning to read and write is one of the most important achievements in your child’s life which you can be a part of and that is definitely another great thing about it. How this experience is going to turn out to be depends also on your approach and the concrete situation but it shouldn’t be traumatizing for neither one of you.
What should you keep in mind?
If you start feeling frustrated because your child isn’t making expected progress there are a couple of things you should reconsider:
- Is your child mature enough to handle the task? Some children start at age of 3 or 4, others not before 6 or 7. That’s perfectly normal and you shouldn’t push your child if it doesn’t feel ready, it can only cause a series of problems such as demotivation, hesitation, lower self-confidence and even greater frustration. Try to build its self-confidence and love for the process of learning instead.
- Teach your child to read easy words such as “mama” or “dada” and let him draw what he read. It will help him memorize the word and take the pressure off for a moment. Never forget to show you respect for its efforts and remember to celebrate the little victories together.
- Try some pre-reading activities such as learning pictograms. Start with very simple ones and then continue with whole sentences or even short stories in which some words are written and for others there are pictures or drawings.
- Motivate your child. It’s possible your child doesn’t quite understand why it should learn to read and write when it could draw, watch cartoons or play outside instead. Why is it important and what’s in it for your child?
- Repeat, repeat, repeat. Reading and writing is very much like learning to ride a bicycle. It’s quite difficult at first, but then it gets easier. Have patience and don’t judge.
Teaching your child to read and write will take time and energy but it’s worth it. And don’t forget to encourage your children to read books, write their own stories, to create and to explore their imagination because you never know, they might just be the next great writers, poets or journalists!